"DO YOU...?"

Do you ever get the feeling that you're totally in the dark, and that there's nowhere else to go but... DOWN?

I have never had that feeling before my injury. I can say without any hesitation that I've had a decent life: Having a lovely family, nice cozy home, and perhaps, enough money to go around.

そして今現在はどうだろう…毎年梅雨が近づくと慄き、夏がやって来るとエアコン、扇風機、アイス、テレビの4人の友達としか付き合わなくなる(これは俗に言う人生の敗残者か)。

昨今、秋は短く、そして冬がめちゃくちゃ長い。障害者の私にとっては冬が一番嫌な季節だ。身体は動かないし、たまに痛みも出るし、何よりもあの日(12/10)を絶対に思い出してしまう。

"NAH, FORGET ABOUT IT."

MK
00:07
2021/07/07

映画🎥
"Boyz n the Hood," 1991
ICE CUBE, CUBA GOODING JR (B), LAURENCE FISHBURNE (A).
A: I want y'all to look at that sign up there. See what it says? "Cash for your home." You know what that is?
B: Billboard.
A: What are y'all, Amos and Andy? Are you Stepin and he's Fetchit? I'm talkin' about the message. What is stands for. It's called gentrification (高級化). It's what happens when the property value of an area is brought down. You listening?
B: Yeah.
A: They bring the property value down. They can bring the land at a lower price. And then they move people out, raise the property value and sell at a profit. What we need to do is keep everything in our neighborhood. Everything black. Black owned, with black money. Just like the Jews, the Italians, the Mexicans, and the Koreans do.
C: Ain't nobody from outside bringin' down the property value. It's these folk. Shootin' each other and sellin' that crack, rock, and shit.
A: How you think the crack and rock gets into the country? We don't own any planes. We don't own no ships. We are not the people who are flyin' and floatin' that ship in here. I know every time you turn on the TV that's what you see. Black people sellin' the rock.
C: Yeah. Right.
A: Pushin' the rock.
C: Yeah. I know.
A: But that wasn't a problem as long as it was here. It wasn't a problem until it was in Iowa and it showed up on Wall Street where there are hardly any black people. And if you want to talk about guns, why is there a gun shop on almost every corner in this community?
C: Why?
A: I'll tell you why. For the same reason that there's a liquor store on almost every corner in the black community. Why? They want us to kill ourselves. You go out to Beverly Hills, you don't see that shit. But they want us to kill ourselves. The best way to destroy a people is you take away their ability to reproduce themselves. Who is it that's dyin' on these streets every night? Y'all?
C: Yeah.
A: Young brothers like yourselves.
D: What am I supposed to do? Fool roll up, try to smoke me. I'm gonna shoot the motherfucker if he don't kill me first.
A: They want exactly what they want you to do. You have to think, young brother, about your future.

「考えないといかん！しかし、私の脳は半分壊死している状態だ。それでも…」

「久しぶり！」

Last night, I went out with my wife for a dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. We had a great time.

しかし、今日はそのせいでブログに時間を費やすことが出来なかった。まだ、眠い💤のでおやすみなさい。

MK
07:56
2021/07/06

「ヤバ〜い！」

Our washing machine has just now collapsed!!! According to the repairwomem (who happens to be my wife and my baby girl), the main washing machine board is damaged and that, there is no way an amateur can fix it.

Well, thanks to the technicalized world, if we can wait until this coming Wednesday, we'll have a brand new washing machine!!!

7/7に新しい洗濯機が手に入るのは嬉しいが、この時期に出費はでかい！！全く洗濯機の話とは関係はないと思うのだが、最近英語の生徒の数も減ってきている…😢要するに、入金は段々と減っている一方で出費は抑えなければいけないのに、洗濯機とは…一体何なんだよ！嫌になっちまうよ。

本当は私が普通に就職をし、一定の金額を稼げるサラリーマンが一番良いのだが、それはこの国のシステムでは無いだろう。少なくとも私が生きている今の時代ではそんなのは夢物語だと正直思ってしまう。ものすごく悲しいが、それが現実だ。身体障害者には厳しい世の中だ。

MK
01:04
2021/07/05

"FIELD OF DREAMS" 1989
At the very end of the film. A comucommunication between Kevin Costner and Dwier Brown.
Kevin Costner: "You catch a good game."
Dwier Brown: "Thank you. It's so beautiful here. For me... Well, for me it's like a dream come true. Can I ask you something? Is this heaven?"
Kevin Costner: "It's Iowa."
Dwier Brown: "Iowa?"
Kevin Costner: "Yeah."
Dwier Brown: "I could have sworn it was heaven."
Kevin Costner: "Is there a heaven?"
Dwier Brown: "Oh, yeah. It's the place dreams come true."
Kevin Costner: "Maybe this is heaven."
Dwier Brown: "Well... good night, Ray."
Kevin Costner: "Good night, John."
Kevin Costner: "Hey, Dad? You want to have a catch?"
Dwier Brown: "I'd like that."

最後のキャッチボールのシーンは……

"ATMOSPHERIC PRESSURE, GRAVITY, & RAINY SEASON"

この身体障害者の身体にも当然"GRAVITY"又は「重力」がかかっている。特にこの「梅雨」の時期は我々にはその"GRAVITY"または"G"が重くのしかかっている。そのせいで、6月から7月は本当に何も身体と脳がリンクせず、言うことを聞いてくれない！EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED THIS COUPLE OF MONTHS!!!

On top of the usual Japanese "RAINY SEASON," I have come to realize the fact that I have to face the "ATMOSPHERIC PRESSURE," also known as, 「気圧。」

What I truly hate is that I cannot prepare nor anticipate for this worst season. I've been doing nothing for the past 15 to 16 years, letting the season go by. I absolutely cannot stand that!

In this such a technolized world, there's nothing that we can't do??? HOW COME?

MK
02:39
2021/07/04

P. S.
今日の映画は休みです。

"RAIN, RAIN, AND RAIN, PART 2"

Today was horrible, the rain, humidity, and most of all, the number of Coronavirus was still rising. Can't you, "THE GOVERNMENT," simply get us the shots?

今日はとにかく身体も頭も何も動かなかった。ずっと何もせず寝るだけが精一杯だった。まだ、雨はずっと降っている。

My Doctor prescribed a different sleeping pill. Therefore, I'm going to try tonight see how it goes.

MK
01:03
2021/07/03

A scene from "SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL." 1987, Eric Stoltz, Lee Thompson, & Mary Stuart Masterson.
Mary Stuart Mastersonが告白するシーン;

Mary Stuart Masterson;
"She doesn't love you. It's a joke. It's all a joke."

Eric Stoltz;
"How do you know?"

Mary Stuart Masterson;
"I'd bet my hands on it."

Eric Stoltz;
"You don't want to make that bet."

Mary Stuart Masterson;
"Yeah, I do. I've been thinking a lot lately about you and me. And I came to a conclusion that I didn't want to deal with. But now that we talked I can't hide it any more. We'd get along better if we didn't spend so much time together anymore."

Eric Stoltz;
"Why?"

Mary Stuart Masterson;
"Because I'm driving you crazy, and you're driving me crazy. I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me than have you see me and hate me, because I can't afford to have you hate me, Keith. The only things I care about in this God damn life are me and my drums and you. Adios."

"RAIN, RAIN, AND RAIN"

以前も普段からも脳出血の私は、右半身不随の為、生きている上で何が1番厄介なのかを考えた時、ある結論に達した事がある。それはあまりにも、くだらないので書くのを辞めようかとも思ったが、ブログとはちゃんと書いている人もいれば、適当に書いている人もいるのではないかと思い、私はこのまま継続した。

要するに、何を言いたいかと言うと、この病気になってから何が一番不自由かと思うとこれに尽きる：身体のバランスが取りづらいということだ。

偶然なのか本能なのか、特に私は転ばないようにいつでも気をつけている節はある。まぁ、転ぶと痛いし、恥ずかしいし。好奇の目で見られるのも結構屈辱。結果、私はこの病気になってから必要最低限の日以外は外出を避けるようになった。原因は単純に「雨」から逃げる様になったからだ。　　　　　

Simply said, I hate rain. No reason, just can't stand rain. That's it...

MK
02:10
2021/07/02

A scene from "SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL." 1987, Eric Stoltz, Lee Thompson, & Mary Stuart Masterson.

Eric Stolts;
"I... Wanted to know if maybe you wanted to go out... with me. But if it's too difficult a time, I...I understand. I..."
Lee Thompson;
"You're asking me out on a date?"

This is one classic movies from the '80s (I think).

"PAIN"

"Stomach Ache." This is one term which I had never dealt with in my entire life. Perhaps, I may be exaggerating but simply said, I just don't know what "IT" meant.

As I'm getting older day by day, my body acquires rather unusual "PAIN." It's difficult for my age to acknowledge something new, especially when it comes to physical throe.

現時点今でもこの「腹痛」と戦っている。もしかしたら、食べ物が悪いのか？！年齢の事を考えて胃に優しい物を食することにしよう。

MK
22:19
2021/06/30

P. S.
A few of my favorite scenes (especially, towards the end) from a movie, "SCENT OF A WOMAN."
"But not a snitch!"
"This is such a crock of shit!"
"What a sham."
"Out of order? Who the hell you think you're talkin' to?"
"But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out… to buy his future. And that, my friend, is called integrity. That's called courage. Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of."

Please, if you have the time, I was strongly invite you to watch this movie.